today’s topic is one that we are currently dealing with all over the world and that is hard for some, which is totally understandable. But I have just wanted to let you in and share how I have been spending the days.
To start with, I have never went into full on quarantine. Not because I didn’t want to, but because I couldn’t. With my job, it is not possible to go into quarantine 100%. I still had to go into the company few days a week. But aside food shopping, that was all that I have been going out. I’m not the person to go out too much anyways so it wasn’t a big deal.
That doesn’t mean that this whole situation didn’t affect me. It did affect me a lot, especially mentally. Hearing about the current situation all over the place and then also my family only talking about it. It was too much and I was in a state of panice for weeks, to the point I couldn’t sleep properly and would just start crying as soon as my parents would mention it. Another stress factor for me was that I was still in the trial period at work and I was afraid that I might not stay at my current work. My boss told me otherwise multiple times but being the panic person that I am, it didn’t calm me down much. Good news; the trial period is over and I’m still at my work.
But aside panicking, have I done something else? Not really! I wanted to study languages, I wanted to write, I wanted to do so many things because I was free on the weekends but I was and still am tired from the week, that I couldn’t focus on anything. And also, the pressure from people online to just do something and use the time wisely was a bit too much for me, if I am honest. I believe that many of us have been dealing with this. It took me a month to realize that I don’t have to do anything if I don’t feel like it. That would just be pushing myself and, in the end, I wouldn’t be happy with things that I’ve done. So I decided that it is okay if I don’t do anything and spend my days watching youtube, netflix or just simply doing nothing. Because that’s exactly what I need. The only major life change that I’ve done, was starting this website and I’m happy about it. It was something that was on my to-do list for some time and I feel like I’ve accomplished something big. Even if for some people, this might not be a big deal, it is for me and that’s the most important.
If you feel the same and feel the peer pressure to do something and be successful, try to listen to your body. If your body or even your head is giving you signals that it would rather rest and just do nothing, it is also okay. You deserve it! The current situation is scary and we are all reacting to it differently. Count the small victories that you have done throughout this time. I am still learning this myself but that doesn’t mean that those small victories aren’t important. This situation will pass as well.
I hope that you all stay healthy and that you are all doing well.
Love and light,